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| 9 days from now, I'll be on a plane to Ireland. That is so exciting I can't even put it into words...but it's also terrifying because I've never flown alone. Hell, the longest trip I've taken by myself is going between home and school. But the awesomeness of it vastly outweighs the terrifying-ness. I've been aching to see Brittney again for a long time now, and now that the day is so near, it doesn't even seem real...like I'm not leaving the country to go visit her, but I know I am, and I can't wait.
It's kinda funny to think about sometimes....I used to be all "whatever...I don't need a girlfriend"...until I started dating Brittney. And then it was "we can make it work, even with only being able to see each other on weekends," and that worked out fine until I realized how much I love her and need her. And then when I found out she was studying abroad it was "okay, it'll be fine...we're used to only seeing each other on the weekends...no big deal." Wrong again. I held together for about a month before it really hit me. Ever since then I've been going crazy, and it's really weird for me since I normally wouldn't let any one thing get to me as much as this. But I guess that happens when you've been separated from the other half of your soul for so long.
So...umm...I totally lost my train of thought. And rather than ramble on, I'm just going to end it here. Later.
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| My mind is so fucked up right now. I'm worried, sad, pissed off, anxious, angry, frustrated, confused, and stressed out. Right now I just want to run away from it all and bury myself in my own little hole until this hellstorm is finished. On top of all my schoolwork and the love of my life being 3,000 miles away right now, she said that she would be in and out of her room, so talking over instant messenger would be a bit sporadic. Apparently she forgot about the damn thing, because it's been over 6 hours since I've heard anything from her, and she hasn't told me what her plans are other than going out at some point. So I have no idea where she is or what she's doing, and it's making me sick....we're talking physically ill...no joke, no exaggeration. But, at the same time, I'm pissed because I don't know how many times I've told her to let me know what's going on somehow, and she's still horrible about it. I know habits are hard to change, but this is an issue that has a serious effect on me, and she knows that. I'm waiting for her name to show up on my buddy list so I can know she's alright...I'll stay up all night if I have to. And it's not her that I don't trust...it's everyone else. I don't trust people in general, let alone when they're 3,000 miles away and Brittney is involved. I just want to talk to her again...
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| I'm only procrastinating...which is very bad considering I have 3 tests this week I should be studying for. I've decided to skip out on all other homework and studying I would normally do so I can study a decent amount for these. Especially considering how horribly my Diff Eq test went on Friday...I may have done alright, but it was rough...I had trouble remembering just about everything. So...in order to sufficiently study and be able to talk to Brittney this week, I'll just hold all that homework and stuff to do until the weekend. This will likely be the only update I can do until next weekend.
This past weekend I decided to go home...mainly because I felt like it. It would have worked out perfectly if Brittney's flight hadn't been cancelled, because then I wouldn't feel like I was missing something. But it was, because of a very small amount of snow. So they rescheduled their trip for next weekend. So I'll have 3 weekends in a row that I won't be able to talk to her. But I guess on the bright side I'll have 3 weekends in a row to get work done. And I just realized I have math homework due on Friday, so I have to do that before then. Luckily, my mechanics test shouldn't be that bad, and my "studying" will only consist of making my equation sheet (they're giving us 2 sides 8.5"x11" paper, which is more than enough at this point). And I don't forsee Thermo being too much of a problem...so hopefully I won't have to do ALL of my work over the weekend. But I digress...anyway...home was nice. Got to hang out with Josh and Will Friday night...drank some beer (big surprise there). Saw Sean Sunday morning at church, which was weird. Got some new clothes...moved in another couch into the house...got some nice chill time in, which was my main goal. But yeah...that's about it for now. My brain is pretty scattered. Adios.
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| So...today I still need to donate plasma, try to catch up with homework and studying, do laundry, and work on my english paper. I may have to break it up and so some today, some tomorrow, but it will no doubt be a busy weekend for me. And to make things worse, right now all I want to do is go home and watch the days go by until I can be with Brittney again. I miss her so much. She really is the only person that can make me truly happy and complete. I hate not being able to call her whenever I want to and talk and hear her sweet voice. I hate not being able to visit her every weekend. Hopefully I'll be able to make it to Dubuque next weekend...maybe I'll be able to chill enough there that I can compose myself and last another month or so before I have to take another break. I'm getting to the point where I just don't care about anything other than seeing Brittney again. I love her so much, and I miss her horribly. In 44 days I'll be on my way to see her, and in 115 days she'll be back in the States. Those days can't pass fast enough...if I could, I would kick Father Time in the ass.
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| So the past few days have been pretty interesting. I'll go ahead and start from the beginning.
Once I was done with class on Friday, I got some studying done at the library, went to the bank, and played Rock Band 2 with my brother in his room for a while. After I got home and fed myself, Nate and I got picked up and we went to Whitney and Annie's apartment (friends from ISU). So we're over there, chilling, doing a bit of drinking, watching random stuff and whatnot. Before I know it, it's 2:30 in the morning, and Whitney offers to take me back to my apartment (I had to leave town the next day, so I accepted). As I'm about 20-30 seconds from walking through the door, Whitney's car gets nailed, turns at least 90 degrees, skids over 150 feet, and ends up on a snowbank right outside my building. At this point, I didn't even know what was going on...but I got out, and her trunk was GONE. Luckily, there was a couple that had seen the whole thing, and called the cops before we even got out of the car. The guy kept speeding away, so all I saw was a set of taillights. A cop gets there pretty quickly, and finds the guy's front bumper with the license attached, and shortly thereafter they find him (apparently he took out a sign on highway 30). They suspect he was drunk and fighting with someone in the car, so that guy is royally screwed. I managed to get to bed at about 4am or so, and woke up around 10am.
Then Sara A. and I went to Marion for a friend's reception. Funny thing is, neither of us had really seen him in 3 or 4 years, and we didn't know anybody. But we got some free food and free beer, and had a pretty fun time. Then Kate and Marty and Bob came to our hotel room, and the 5 of us hung out for a while. They all left, we went to bed, and basically left right away the next day. When we got back, we were hungry, and Pizza Hut sounded really good, so we stopped at the Pizza Hut in Ames for some lunch. That's when I found out there's a girl in my art history class that works at Pizza Hut, and that was kind of weird, because it was like there's two totally different sides to her (nice friendly waitress and goth-looking chick decked out in all black).
So yeah...managed to catch up with schoolwork despite all the stuff that went on, and hopefully I won't fall behind again. That's all I have for now...so until next time, have a good one.
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